Today

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-Auden

Today's Mood: Jefferson Starship

You know sometimes when you wake up with a song in your head?

Today: And then it kicked in

James: I wouldn't take that. It has speed in it.
Me: There's speed in Allegra-D?
Deb: Oh, it's fine. There's only a little speed in it.

Today: Revenge

from Karl Lagerfeld's Twitter today:
Forgiveness is too easy. I can forget by indifference, but not forgive. I prefer revenge.

I live by Lagerfeld.

Today: Viv

(watching Ratatouille)
V: I think there're too many movies with mice. It's been done too many times.
Me: What? What other movies?
V: Like Stuart Little. I guess G-force is guineau pigs but they're just like mice but fatter - fat mice. They need to mix it up.
Me: But mice work in Ratatouille because you find mice in restaurants. What other animals would you choose?
V: I don't know...maybe lizards.
Me: What???? Lizards? It's in a restaurant. There are no lizards in restaurants.
V: There might be lizards. Or...spiders. It could be spiders.
Me: WHAT? Spiders don't cook! It can't be spiders.
V: They might cook. You just might not see them. There are no good spiders in movies. Except for Aragog in Harry Potter and she was evil. There need to be more good spiders in movies.
Me: I'm not talking to you anymore.

Today.

Me: Why did I add the spinach first? I should've sauteed the mushrooms and the tomatoes first.
O: Because you're on crack.
Me: You don't even know what crack is.
O: Yes, I do. It's a drug that makes you dizzy.

Today.

Today, I feel like: Baysplosions!

Today: What is the effin point of nostalgia?

I'm sure there's some study on it somewhere. Aurgh. Move on, move on. To what?

I don't want my life to be a repeating fractal. Every year an iteration of every month, of every day, of every hour, of every minute.

Frustration.

Because It's Always About Me.

Recent article in the New Yorker about the effects of solitary confinement on prisoners is fascinating. (Sidenote: I love Atul Gawande. I wonder if he has a Twitter feed.)

I spoke to Keron Fletcher, a former British military psychiatrist who had been on the receiving team for Anderson and many other hostages, and followed them for years afterward. Initially, Fletcher said, everyone experiences the pure elation of being able to see and talk to people again, especially family and friends. They can’t get enough of other people, and talk almost non-stop for hours. They are optimistic and hopeful. But, afterward, normal sleeping and eating patterns prove difficult to reëstablish. Some have lost their sense of time. For weeks, they have trouble managing the sensations and emotional complexities of their freedom.

Of course my immediate thought after reading the article is, what irreparable damage have I done to myself with my self-imposed isolation? Because being tortured in prison camps and locked in a grey room and terrorized by captors is exactly the same as moving to New York and not talking to anyone for a year and a half.

I still get angry when I think about you but I'm sorry I was an asshole.

Today: I have the cape. I make the whoosh noises.

Today: Dickinson

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part One: Life

CXXVI

THE BRAIN is wider than the sky,
For, put them side by side,
The one the other will include
With ease, and you beside.

The brain is deeper than the sea, 5
For, hold them, blue to blue,
The one the other will absorb,
As sponges, buckets do.

The brain is just the weight of God,
For, lift them, pound for pound, 10
And they will differ, if they do,
As syllable from sound.

Today: Cock Animal Cracker. Hee.

This came from a Japanese food store in New Jersey. I'm told that words are put on the crackers to help Japanese children learn English.
from here.

On things that I did not need to know

My co-worker has a third nipple.

That third nipple lactates.

Today

Today, I like the word "bastion".

Today: Light

Today: Motivated

Today is going to be different.

Breaking up

Pretty much blows balls.

Today

My insides want to encompass the world.

Today

Absolutely wonderful.